She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
