i just wanna soil my oats bro
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize