We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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