My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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