please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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