i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
