Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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