i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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