Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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