You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
