rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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