I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
