everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
