I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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