I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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