You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
