She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
