If that was your dad, he is hot
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
