She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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