I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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