making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
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While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
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I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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