do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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