Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i already hear my dad disowning me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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