yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
