I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize