Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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