do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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