So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
