You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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