True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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