You work out of a Hotel?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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