She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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