I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
