i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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