i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
