so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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