omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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