Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
