I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize