I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
