these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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