Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I need to align my fucking chakras
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
