i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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