Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
