Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
