Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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