would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
