The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
