we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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