I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
