make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
