new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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