i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
