Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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