The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
