so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
