She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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