areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
