im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
