after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
