My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
even my farts smell like vagina
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
